melodicinkysin: (A silly girl.)
Dearest, darlingest, lovely players:

I seem to have mastered a dance between being ever-present and forever disappearing.  I skirt that unreliable borderline between having the potential to be a good castmate/CR and being utterly befuddling and frustrating.  Most of you know the reasons for my ephemeral presence in Luceti with both of my poor characters, and some of you may not.

Regardless of such, I don't feel the need to go into exquisite details about what has been putting my drive to tag through the wringer.  If you've followed my plurks or have had the chance to speak with me personally, you know that I have had something simple and inherent to life as a human being happening repeatedly:  life coming at me from every which way.  My choices are, as a woman of decent heart and stout bosom, is to take it or to let it defeat me.  I have to take what life throws at me and make something out of it; I have to pack such difficulties in my stride.  Each surmounted obstacle should be my starting block, from where I push off in that desperate caw and claw to better myself.

So what does this have to do with you, per se?

Everything that has been making my shoulders its mantelpiece has been an added burden and pressure.  Each one is a challenge that I plan to reconstruct into a building block by which I can build my life as I want it to be.  Unfortunately, that takes time.  It's not, as it is for some people, an overnight transformation or the breath inside the euphoria of an epiphany.  I have, without a doubt, a handful of tasks on my plate, responsibilities and personal burdens that I have taken up, just as everyone else who has their beautiful lives outside the computer screen.  It's become a convoluted mess, and it's more than high time that I make hay while the sun shines.  To be completely less cliché and pathetic sounding:  I'm taking control, and I'm about to make life my own.  That isn't to say it always hasn't been, but really, it hasn't in a few ways.  No more.  It's mine for the taking.

Abridged version:  Life hasn't been easy, and in prioritizing who I am and what I need to be in these months, RP has taken the hit.  I'm doing what I can to reorganize, and I'll find my way back.

Highly abridged version:  I haven't been around.  I'm sorry.  I won't be for a little while longer.

Three words:  I'll be back.

I think it's about time I take a break from this.  This feels like the sort of relationship where I give the lame excuse as a pleading girl with wide eyes and a crumpled lip, fingers steepled and shaking, "It's not you, it's me."  Well, it isn't.  I thought you all had best know that.  You've been wonderful to me, patient, lovely, the listening ear I needed at times and the sweet souls that have allowed me my houdini act when it best suited me, regardless of what it cost.

Taking a hiatus may come as no surprise, and perhaps it's no big deal, but I feel as though you deserved an explanation.  A vague one at that, but something.  That isn't to say I won't be tagging, either.  I simply feel that I'd best tackle what I've involved myself in, first.  I haven't yet decided where they'll be going, but assume that my cantankerous lot of characters have taken up some sort of purpose.

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.”

--Henri Bergson, French philosopher

It all boils down to this:

I'm taking a break, and I apologize it took me this long to let you all know.



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